i look at myself and just cannot fathom why anyone would want to be within a 5 metres radius of me.
i am so undeserving of all the wonderful people around me.
i let people down.
i stand by myself while i see them reach out to me.
i see their pleading expressions. i say nothing.
they search for a soul, for an ounce of compassion;
they find nothing.
me and my poker face.
i am so self-consumed that i hold my own image higher than the need of a friend.
i have too much to lose, too much to risk.
even though i know all too well that if today i returned to dust,
all of it would be rendered worthless.
im too scared for tomorrow to live for today.
i try so hard to build up the walls of my own self-regard.
until it becomes a high, monstrous, imposing fence.
although the me within the walls is small and weak.
i am a PRUNE.
